the happy closet

So I did it.

I survived an entire year without buying any new clothes, shoes, bags, jewellery or any other accessory item you can think of. I didn’t shop online or offline. I didn’t go thrifting, I didn’t swap any clothes with any friends, I didn’t ask for anything on my birthday. I didn’t even ask to borrow any of my mum’s clothes (she’s a trendy lady, my mum).

A few fun facts and figures:

• While I didn’t spend much time on Pinterest, I still loved reading the style posts every week by my favourite bloggers like Bri, Miss James, Kendi and Elsie & Emma. There was absolutely no need for me to boycott reading the blogs I love to ‘avoid temptation’. If anything, I enjoyed living somewhat vicariously through others’ amazing creativity (and still do).
• Even without adding to my closet, I’m quite sure I still only wore about 30%-40% of my wardrobe, and perhaps even only about 15% of my accessories. To me, this simply goes to show that I still have more items than I really need. I do take into consideration, though, that getting pregnant halfway through the year meant that I couldn’t wear a substantial portion of my wardrobe for a few good months.
• My most worn items of clothing: my jeggings from Urban Outfitters, my black dresses, this jacket, my grey t-shirt, my white t-shirt with a random print (shown here), my (very old) white shirt (shown above), and my yellow maxi dress (again shown here).
• I adorned my feet with primarily three pairs of shoes: my silver ballet flats and my black ankle boots during the colder months; and my military green sandals during the warmer months (almost all my maternity posts have been ‘styled’ with these sandals). In fact, with the exception of possibly two occasions (including the announcement shoot), I think I’ve worn those same sandals every day for the last 3 months. And the awesome thing is that, my feet have not felt lacking whatsoever. As strange a sentence as that is. Again, this proves to me that I have more shoes than I actually care to wear.

As a reward for my year-long hiatus…

…Rick bought me a beautiful basket bag at Christmas from the local Warriewood markets here in the northern beaches. The basket is roomy, has comfortable handles and was beautifully handmade in Morocco. I’m so pleased with it; it’s the only thing I actually felt I possibly needed last year. I love that it stands upright, and is big enough to fit my normal bag as well as a nappy change kit, sun-hats, and the three water bottles I tote around for the boys.

The biggest reward, however, has been learning contentment.

Truly, it has surprised me how easy it turned out to be, to not spend money on myself. I think I mentioned it here before, but what I found was that the more I didn’t buy, the less desire I had to buy anything. And so it got easier and easier, until it simply became my default mindset.

I’ve loved pulling out old clothes and wearing them. They may not all be perfect, but that’s okay. I can live with that.

For so long in my life, I felt like I was somewhat of a slave to what I saw in magazines, on the television, at the shops, on the internet. It was something I truly struggled with, and even as I handed over my credit card details time and time again, I knew at the back of my mind that what I wanted most of all was not the leather jacket from Sass and Bide or the beautiful handmade bag from Etsy; instead, deep down, I knew what I wanted was simply to free myelf from all that consumerism.

And now, miraculously, through this somewhat accidental experiment of mine, I feel like I’ve accomplished exactly this. Without the desire to acquire new things, I feel liberated. I feel lighter. I feel thankful. I feel happy. I feel content.

So what now?

I still don’t see any need to add to my closet, so the zero spending shall continue. (This goes down nicely with our budget for this year anyway.)

In fact, what i want to do is to trim my wardrobe even further. So over the next month or so, the plan will be to go through my closet with a fine tooth comb and take stock of what I own once more. The goal will be to work out what can be further purged from the closet to make it an even happier one.

Jackets, cardigans, shirts, pants, dresses, scarves, t-shirts, stockings, socks, shorts, jumpers, jewellery, bags, shoes, gloves, belly bands… no rock will be left unturned.

I shall keep you posted, my friends.

You can read all of The Happy Closet posts here.

It’s been almost ten months now since I last purchased a piece of clothing or a pair of shoes or a bag or a piece of jewellery, and the exciting part is that I still have no desire or inclination whatsoever to actually buy anything. This has been seriously liberating and it’s also helped our family finances immensely.

I have not always been like this. In fact, ever since I started earning money back in my late teens, I’ve been guilty of spending way too much money on clothes and accessories, often racking up unnecessary credit card debt and sometimes making plain bad purchasing choices.

The funny thing is that I didn’t start out by consciously imposing a year-long spending freeze on myself. Instead, I just decided that I didn’t need to buy anything new and that it would be nice to stop spending money on clothes and other stuff that I didn’t need. From there on, I simply found that the more I didn’t buy anything, the more I didn’t want to buy anything. Eventually I discovered that I automatically stopped looking at clothes at the shops, and I even stopped logging onto online stores as well.

Honestly, I can’t tell you how nice it is to not have to feel nervous about receiving packages at home and having to explain to Rick why I needed yet another different pair of shoes or pants. You ladies with husbands know what I mean, right?

But most of all, I’ve loved feeling content with what I have. I love not looking at my wardrobe and thinking to myself that I need this and this and that to make my wardrobe ‘complete’. I love just being happy with the clothes and the other things that I have now.

It’s hard, though, especially when we’re bombarded every day with all the new things that we can and “should” (supposedly) buy. Here are some things that I’ve worked out along the way that have helped me to be happy with what I already have:

It’s actually socially acceptable to wear the same outfit.
You don’t need a new dress for every single event that you attend. Sounds like a no-brainer but when I was younger, I seriously used to think that I needed something new to wear for every special occasion. Uh uh. Turns out this was a self-concocted myth and when you think about it, quite egotistic of me to think that anyone would care that I was wearing the same thing more than once! I am no celebrity, after all. These days, I just wear the same outfit for 1-2 weeks in a row (unless of course they get really dirty). Saves washing, saves having to come up with something new every day, and so far, no-one has complained… (Edit: Rick has since read this post and would like me to clarify that I do change my ‘under things’ and that because I sit at my desk for a lot of the day, I do not get sweaty. Oh, and that I will wash my clothes more frequently in summer. Thank you husband, for upholding my reputation.)

‘Classics’ and ‘essentials’ are actually not essentials.
You know all those pieces that fashion magazines tell you that you ‘have’ to have? The ones that supposedly never go out of style? The little black dress, the white shirt, the black blazer, the grey shift dress, the leather jacket, the trench coat, the skinny jeans, the leather boots, the red heels…. I could go on and on. Well, I used to be totally convinced that I ‘had’ to have all those ‘essentials.’ In fact, I had a list of them, and would check each item off as I finally made such a purchase. (Sad, right?) It meant that I was always aspiring to ‘complete’ my wardrobe in a sense, and I was never content with what I already had. But quite frankly, these so-called ‘essentials’ are not essential at all. Sure, they may be among the more versatile items of clothing out there, but that doesn’t mean that you have to own one. Nor does it mean that it’s something that might actually suit your style! I’ll be the first to admit that I have a plethora of black dresses as they’re one of my staples, but in the last year, I’ve purged black blazers, leather jackets, trench coats from my closet because I finally worked out that I don’t like wearing them. The key is to work out what you like and make them work for you. Don’t be deceived that you really ‘must have’ all those ‘essentials.’

Pinterest can offer too many temptations.
I think Pinterest is a great way for cataloguing and sharing things with other people, but if you spend too much time on there, you can end up wanting too many things. And more often then not, they’re things that you don’t actually need.

You don’t need to sport a hundred different looks.
Every season, retailers and magazines bombard us with ‘the new looks’ for the season. And every day, fashion and lifestyle bloggers tantalise us with all the different outfits that they so creatively manage to pull together. It can be easy to be sucked into all this, and feel like we need to get into the new season looks or that we need to copy what all our favourite bloggers are doing. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big fan of some life/style bloggers and like reading what they have to post every day. A few in particular have really helped me to work out my own personal style. But now that I know what I like, I’ve become quite immune to all the other different looks and styles that I encounter online every day. I can read a post and be able to enjoy/admire it and not feel like I need to go out and buy similar pieces to recreate the same look. Which leads to my next point…

You need to just be you.
Just because something looks good on someone else, it doesn’t mean it will look good on you. (Trust me, I know.) And even if it does, it doesn’t actually mean you need to have the same thing. Let them be them, and you be you.

* * *

Do you have any similar tips to share?

p.s. Because it’s now spring here in Sydney, I’m going to start purging my closet once more. Who’s interested in purging along?

You can read all of The Happy Closet posts here.

(Linking up with Grace.)

I’m back with my second instalment of The Happy Closet today.

Like I said, I was quite overwhelmed by the big response to my last post about this.

Clearly, this is something that resonates with a lot of you.

So let’s start at the beginning by identifying what I think are the basic principles of ‘the happy closet.’

1) The happy closet is not a perfect closet by magazine standards.

2) The happy closet looks different for everybody. My happy closet will be very different to what yours would look like.

3) A beautiful item is one that’s been worn over and over again. It could be an old t-shirt, a faded pair of jeans, a second hand dress or a fake fur coat. Brand, material and age are all irrelevant. It’s all to do with how much YOU love the item, which should be reflected in how much you wear it. The Happy Closet is made up of items that are loved and worn.

4) You should know 100% of what’s in your happy closet. In other words, there should be no ‘black holes’ in the happy closet.

5) Whilst there is no limit on the size of the happy closet, it should be more of a minimalist closet than an excessive one.

6) The happy closet is an organised closet.

7) All items in the happy closet should be easily accessible.

8) The happy closet changes as you move through different stages of life.

9) The happy closet is one that you’re content with.

10) If you have a happy closet, you should feel no inclinication to purchase anything new, including thrifted items (at least not until a big life change).

* * *

So over to you guys….

a) What do you think of the list? Too extreme? Anything you would change or add?
b) Are there any ‘black holes’ in your closet?
c) What are some of the clothes that you actually love to wear?

You can read all The Happy Closet posts here.

I turn thirty-two today and I’m proud to say that I finally have a happy closet. And by that I mean, a closet that’s not bursting at the seams and that’s filled with clothes that I actually like to wear.

My closet has been such a happy one that I haven’t bought anything since November last year. That’s almost coming up to eight months, and so far I’ve still got no inkling to buy anything new – online or offline. In fact, when Rick asked me if I wanted anything for my birthday just earlier this week, I couldn’t think of a single thing.

I mentioned in this post how I recently learnt that the fewer clothes I own, the happier I am, and that the beauty of a piece of clothing has everything to do with how much it’s worn and loved. I truly believe this, and I think that this is the secret to having a happy closet.

Prior to the end of last year, for as long as I can remember, my wardrobe had always been filled with clothes I never wore. This got me down for several reasons:

• I always felt like I had ‘nothing’ to wear, even though I had no shortage of clothes.
• I never felt like I had ‘the right clothes.’
• I therefore always felt like I had to buy more clothes to fill the (perceived) void.
• I felt like a hoarder.
• I felt like a waster.
• I always felt like there was never enough space in my closet.
• Every time I was out at the shops, I would eye other women and covet their outfits. Not a nice feeling at all.

For the most part, clothes seem to be just clothes to men. I know that this is definitely the case with Rick. He’s perfectly happy to chuck out high school jerseys and favourite shirts when they get ripped, while I’m the one left all teary because that was the shirt he wore on our dates before we got married.

And therein lies the heart of the problem. For most of us women, our wardrobe represents more than just our clothes. Our wardrobe forms part of our identity. Our wardrobe has emotion attached to it. Our wardrobe holds remnants of our past life; perhaps a past life we’re unable to let go of. Our wardrobe represents in part the person we were, and the person we aspire to be.

Sometime last year after giving birth to my fourth baby in three and a half years, it dawned on me that my body was changed forever and decided that it was as good a time as any to makeover – or should I say, make under – my wardrobe.

The process didn’t exactly happen overnight and I will be the first to admit that it was both time-consuming and mentally exhausting. But the result is that I’m now at a place where I’m finally happy with my closet. I have no longings for anything new. I love what I wear every day. My closet is, for the most part, devoid of anything I don’t actually wear. And most importantly, I am content.

If you’re similarly interested in turning your closet into a happy one, I’ll be sharing some of the things I learnt in the process, and the numerous roadblocks that I encountered, over a series of posts. It’s nothing ground-breaking, and you probably already know a lot of it. But in an era where we’re constantly told we need to buy new things every day, I thought it would be helpful to gather all my thoughts on this topic in the one place for anyone who might be interested in making under their wardrobe and learning to be content with what they have.

As for tomorrow – another scrapbook shall be revealed!

You can read all of The Happy Closet posts here.

(And yes, tis the season of the chunky scarf here in Sydney. If only it were flu-proof.)