family

Preserve the sanctity of napping. Divide and conquer if necessary.

Perhaps the biggest thing that keeps me sane amidst the constant busyness is what I like to call ‘synchronised napping.’ In other words, the boys all sleep at the same time in the middle of the day. And usually for somewhere between two to three hours. During which time I get to regroup, tidy the house, use the bathroom (woohoo!), eat lunch, do stretches, unwind and sometimes I even take a nap myself.

It’s like coming up for air.

At the risk of sounding like a militant ‘tiger mum’ (I am Chinese after all), daytime napping in our household is non-negotiable. The boys are not given a choice in the matter. And yes, they have all at various times attempted to drop their nap. But we just keep putting them back down, and if they cry about it, well – we leave them crying about it. And even though the crying has been hard to listen to over the years, the up side is that ‘quiet time’ (as we like to call it) is now a given in our daily family life. The boys all know that after play time, it’s lunch time, and after lunch time, it’s quiet time. There is no argument and no fuss (most days), and on a good day, we are able to put them all down in the space of ten minutes.

Of course, there are special occasions throughout the year for which we will make an exception to the quiet time rule. But generally speaking, we will always go home for quiet time. This does not bother me in the least from a social point of view, because by the time I’ve been out with the boys all morning (or should I say, by the time I’ve managed to strap them all into the car), I am exhausted myself anyway.

As for dividing and conquering, the boys all nap in a different place of the house to allow for ‘maximum napping’: Edward sleeps in his cot in his room; Jamie sleeps in his cot in the big boys’ room, Pete sleeps on the couch downstairs in the lounge room, and Angus sleeps on the queen-sized bed our room (lucky him). By my careful calculation, this leaves the study couch and the family room couch for Rick and yours truly should we need to lie down ourselves. Being the eldest, Angus will sometimes stay awake but even so, he remains in our bed and afterwards he’ll tell me that he’s had “a rest.”

That’s good enough for this second generation tiger mum.

Over to you – how important is daytime napping in your family?

(This new series is partly inspired by Erin’s tips for living in a tiny apartment, which is a must-read, especially if you’ve ever lived in a small space.)

Around here

With Jamie’s laryngoscopy behind us, we are now facing colds, sniffles, blocked noses and sleepless nights. It seems that no matter how hard I work to bundle up the boys in warm clothes, colds always get the better of us. Edward has definitely been sounding snuffly for the last few days, and poor Pete has a blocked nose that keeps waking him up and sending him into great distress. Tonight, in fact, I actually had to call Rick while he was in the middle of bible study and ask him to come home early because Pete was so distraught and inconsolable. It was incredibly upsetting to see him like that and by the time Rick got home, I was in tears myself.

On a brighter note, I have been so much more light-hearted now that Jamie’s laryngoscopy is over. I love that I can actually be with Jamie now without worrying myself sick the entire time. Tomorrow I will be sharing morning tea with some other mums from preschool, and then I am looking forward to spending time with the three younger boys for the rest of the day. In the afternoon, I will pick Angus up from preschool and take him to a nearby cafe for a babycino. Then in the evening, I am hopeful that we can all enjoy dinnertime together in a somewhat more relaxed fashion than we did tonight. And so life continues – a mixture of laughter, exhaustion, busyness, joy and tears. And through it all, I am reminding myself every day to simply be present. Because no matter how overwhelming a single day can be, the years pass by all too quickly…

Our little guy is four weeks old today, and I am completely in love with his big eyes, his plump cheeks, his tiny mouth, his fuzzy hair, and his gorgeous smell. It’s remarkable how much bigger he’s gotten these last two weeks – we’re definitely not worried about any weight gain issues anymore around here. His legs and arms are visibly chubbier, and he’s starting to get so much longer already. Rick continues to help out with the night feeds, and I just adore him for it. The boys are still really sweet with Edward – they always ask to see him when I bring him downstairs and they’re all really good with only kissing him on the top of his head or on his tummy. Angus, in particular, has been enjoying his cuddles with Edward Bear, and it seems like the feeling is reciprocal. Sometimes, I really do wish I could make time stand still…

Thank you to everyone for your beautiful words of support. Honestly, you guys helped me feel so much better about this morning. Jamie did extremely well, and I’m so proud of him. The prognosis is that it’s nothing serious, which is wonderful news. As you can probably guess, I’m immensely relieved that it’s all over for now.

Around here

This week Pete and Angus returned to preschool. I was sad to see them go, but happy to know that they were returning to a caring and familiar environment that is aimed specifically to help them grow, learn and develop. I love it when they come home to show us all the goodies they made under the guidance of their teachers. On one hand, the minimalist in me flinches at the amount of stuff they do bring home (yes, I shall admit to that), but on the flip side, I totally appreciate what a joy it is to see the artwork that they’ve created, and to observe the look of pride on their faces.

Pete went back first on Monday, and Rick and I were both pleasantly surprised when he did so without any reluctance whatsoever. My little boy is definitely growing up. As for Angus, his first day back was with Pete on Wednesday, and according to their teachers, Angus was the perfect older brother and the two of them had a blast together. Talk about making a mama’s heart sing. Part of me wishes they had more than just a day a week together at preschool, but I also know it’s good for them to form and build friendships with other children as well.

Back at home, I’ve been enjoying cuddles whenever I can with Edward Bear, who continues to be a little bundle of joy. He’s drinking like a machine and Rick is convinced his cheeks are plumper than they were a week ago. He’s also been napping and sleeping quite well, so really, he’s awesome.It’s definitely been an adjustment to go back to three hourly feeds after having such a solid daily routine for almost a year, but I think I’ve gotten back into the rhythm of it all. (I have to confess, though, that I’ve been unashamedly re-acquainting myself with some daytime television during the midday feed, which for two days in a row this week happened to be The Bachelorette.) Mind you, I wouldn’t be coping half as well if it weren’t for Rick, who very happily helps me by giving Bear at least two of his bottles during the night. My husband is seriously the best, and I am eternally grateful for him.

As for Jamie, he has been nothing but wonderful with Edward. He’s completely moved on from his brown cot, and he is so patient with me when I’m having to hold or feed his younger brother. In fact, on Wednesday this week when it was just the three of us, I’m quite certain I dozed off on and off for forty minutes as I was attempting to get Bear to finish his bottle (yet another glorious confession), during which time Jamie simply played at my feet with cars, trucks and tractors all by himself with no complaints whatsoever. Part of me still misses and yearns for that time not so long ago when Jamie was my tiniest, but I am also in awe as I watch him come into his own as an independent and capable little boy.

And speaking of boys growing up, my goodness do they eat a lot of bread! I can’t even begin to fathom how much bread we are going to go through when they are teenagers. Pete alone, I’m sure, will be eating a loaf a day all by himself, seeing as he asks me for toast every hour or so when he’s at home (and he’s only three!). Either we start a trust fund now or we’re going to have to teach them all how to bake their own bread…

What were some of the highlights of your week?

Edward turned two weeks yesterday. It’s weird to think that he was only born fifteen days ago. Already I can’t imagine life without him. He’s been feeding hungrily and sleeping quite well. When the early childhood nurse visited us a week ago and weighed him, she had me worried as he’d only put on 20 grams since leaving hospital five days earlier. But since then, he’s definitely become slightly plumper and with all the milk he’s drinking, I’m quite certain he’s doing okay. The other boys have completely accepted him into the family, and they’ve had no problems at all with me spending so much time feeding their littlest brother. Even Jamie seems to understand and is happy to wait till I finish giving Edward his morning bottle before insisting on his own cup of milk.

A few people have asked me who Edward looks like the most. Even though he reminds me of all four of his brothers, I definitely think he looks the most like Angus at the same age. In fact, I was just looking through Angus’ newborn photos and the resemblance is simply uncanny. He’s fairer than Angus though, so it’ll be interesting to watch how Bear changes and develops as he gets older. For now, I am loving how teeny tiny he is. The newborn stage is just so precious. I know from past experience that it simply flies by. So even though I’m tired almost every hour of every day, I’m doing my best to soak it all up and to cherish every moment…

17/52

“A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013.”

Edward: Looking teeny tiny amongst his older brothers.
Jamie: Loves his new dressing robe from Nan.
Pete: Keeps getting bitten by mosquitoes at night, poor thing.
Angus: Increasingly agile when it comes to getting on and off the top bunk.

The boys love their bedtime with daddy. Most of the time, they’re clamouring for his attention as they all want daddy to help with their clothes, their teeth and their block-building. Other times, they like to jump on Rick’s back at the very same time. It’s quite amusing to watch. This was in fact a rare moment of quiet and stillness as they all listened to daddy read from a story book that Pete had chosen. Edward seemed to fit right in. Needless to say, our hearts are full.

You can see all the other posts here.

(Linking up with Jodi.)

Around here

When we first got home last Friday, I wasted no time in unpacking and getting myself organised. Between the two of us, Rick and I have managed to work out a pretty good daily routine with the boys over the last week. Without a doubt, being organised and structured in our every day life is one of the main things that helps me cope and stay sane amidst the busyness and the lack of sleep. I love getting up each morning and knowing exactly what needs to be done. Some days I breeze right through. Other days I struggle. Some days I’m patient and gentle with the boys. Other days I’m tired and grouchy. But every day, I am thankful for this family that God has blessed me with.

This last week has been joyful, exhausting, uplifting, stressful, awesome, challenging and most of all – fun. Seriously, there is not a dull moment when you have four little boys at home. Having been away from Angus, Pete and Jamie for almost five entire days, it has been simply wonderful to be back at home with them, and I have been soaking up every tiny moment. Little things like watching Pete play with my animal rubber bands on my studio couch, or sitting next to Jamie at the meals table as he pulls his multitude of cheeky expressions, have reminded me of the joy it is to be a parent, even if sometimes it can feel all-consuming. Next week, our routine will be shaken up once again when Angus and Pete go back to preschool. Part of me feels sad at the thought of not having the four of them together with me, but I guess we will simply adapt and adjust, like we’ve done with everything else.

It’s hard to believe that eleven days ago, it was just the five of us.

And now, we are six.

How has your last week been?

(Linking up with Em.)

16/52

“A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013.”

Edward: All snug in his Phil & Ted’s cocoon.
Jamie: “Oh dear, the baby’s crying mummy! Oh dear!” (In the car on the way home…)
Angus: Has a cold, and has been really great about keeping his distance from baby Edward.
Pete: Gives baby Edward the gentlest of pats and kisses.

This was Friday morning, as we were leaving the hospital with Edward. The boys were so excited and so lovely with him. I’m extremely proud of all three of them. They’ve welcomed Edward so beautifully into the family that sometimes I forget they’re only two, three and four years old. And yes, we are all finally under the one roof. And it is just as I imagined it would be. Simply wonderful. Chaotic, yes. But wonderful nonetheless.

You can see all the other posts here.

(Linking up with Jodi.)

p.s. Thank you all for reading this, and for your heartfelt messages…

On my heart right now…

I am bringing this little guy home tomorrow.

I am incredibly excited.

I can’t wait to see Rick and the other three boys in the morning. I can’t wait to embrace them all in my arms. I can’t wait to ask Angus what he’s been learning on the computer. I can’t wait to offer Pete a cookie, because I know he’ll be hungry as soon as he sees me. I can’t wait to ruffle Jamie’s hair and call him “a big boy.” I can’t wait for them to rush over to Edward with their hugs and kisses. I can’t wait to leave the hospital with all four boys in tow. I can’t wait to strap them into our Land Rover, climb into the front and look back at the four of them and smile. I can’t wait to hug Rick in the car. I can’t wait to arrive home, and begin our life together as a family of six. I can’t wait to start being a mother to four boys.

And yet, even as I write this with my heart full of joy, there are tears streaming down because I know there is something missing.

There is always someone missing.

Cameron is always missing.

If only he weren’t, there would be four boys walking down the corridor tomorrow morning. There would be four boys rushing over to little baby Edward. There would be five boys leaving the hospital with us. Five boys seated in the Land Rover. Five boys when we arrived home. We would begin life as a family of seven, not six. And I would be a mother to five boys, not four.

I do not mind these tears. On the contrary, I cherish them.

They are proof of my love for Cameron. They are proof of the life that he lived.

They are proof that I am a mother of five boys, not four. I became a mother because of Cameron, after all.

And so, tomorrow I am bringing little Edward home.

And I am excited. Yet I am also sad.

But even though I do not get to mother five boys as I yearn to do, I am thankful for the four whom God has entrusted to us.

Tomorrow, a new life begins, and I shall embrace it and I shall cherish it. And every day, I shall remember how blessed I am – even with one missing.

And here he is…

…Edward Lewis Mason. Our newest and tiniest. Our fifth little boy. He arrived into our arms at 2.36pm yesterday, after only about four hours of labour. He is beautiful (and reminds us of all his older brothers), and we are deeply in love. I am truly thankful to God that birth went smoothly, and that Edward is here safely. What an amazing gift. I can hardly believe that I get to kiss his baby soft cheeks and stroke his perfectly formed fingers. The other three boys have been absolutely wonderful with their new youngest brother. I am so proud of each of them. I really miss not being at home with them, yet I’m also cherishing this time alone with Edward Bear at the hospital. Please know that I have read every single one of your beautiful messages, and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your love, thoughts, prayers and excitement for us.

(You guys rock.)