Wherein I interview myself

Tell us a bit about your family…
I was born on the little island of Hong Kong. We moved to Sydney when I was four – which was, let’s just say, a very long time ago. My parents were worried China would take over the world and decided Australia would be safer from the evil clutches of communism. Being Chinese drives me mad at times (this is one example), but I wouldn’t have it any other way. My parents both had a heck of a tough childhood living on the poverty line in Hong Kong. My mum, for example, was one of ten children and at one point in time, they were all living in one small attic. One day I will write a book about my parents – for my sake, for their sake, and for my children’s sake. One day.

I am married to a wonderful, gorgeous man. His name is Rick (I sometimes call him Ricky, but he hates that) and we are the best of friends. We like to read books and drink coffee together. He is true blue Aussie and he has a beard that sometimes gets a little bit too long (usually when I forget to point it out to him). He used to ride a motorbike but he sold it about five years ago. And no, I didn’t make him, he gave it up for me. Now that’s true love.

I have been pregnant five times, carried four babies to full-term, delivered four boys, and brought three of them home.

Cameron, our first, died in utero at 41 weeks in September 2007. We grieved madly, we still do, and we always will. We miss the little guy like crazy. Ten days after Cameron died, I started pouring out my grief through words as my way of coping, and I started Life without Cameron as my way of sharing our grief with the world. Since then, I have turned my writings into a manuscript and am currently seeking a way to get it published. More about that later.

Thirteen months after Cameron, we had Angus, and sixteen months later, we also had Pete. Thirteen months after Pete, we welcomed another little boy James into our family.

Angus shares distinct similarities with both of us – he likes to put things away and notices when the smallest thing is out of place (a definite mummy trait), and he is obsessed with anything that has wheels (definitely daddy’s son). He is our precious little man.

Pete has been a textbook dream child. He sleeps, he eats, he smiles, he laughs, he giggles, and he’s now also starting to talk. He is pretty much your happy, content little guy – except when he is starving hungry and mummy is taking her precious time getting food on the table. He is our gorgeous bundle of joy.

James is our latest and tiniest. We are loving having him in the family, and every day we can’t believe how blessed we are to have four little boys…

Despite the hard work, the exhaustion, and the tears, I would not swap motherhood – with all its ups and downs – for anything else in the world.

In addition to losing Cameron, we had a miscarriage between Angus and Pete. We named that little life Thomas – or Tiny Tom as we like to call him.

Since getting married six years ago, we have moved four times which has been all sorts of fun. We now live in a leafy part of Sydney where there are many lizards. I do not like lizards.

We have no pets, though Rick (desperately) wants a dog. I am yet to be convinced.

How would you summarise your resume?
After graduating from high school, I spent five years studying Commerce/Law at the University of New South Wales because I was a typical Asian, brainwashed into believing that it was either Law or Medicine. To supplement my studies, I worked for the likes of eBay, Ernst & Young, Deloitte, and even Andersen (sorry, no link here for obvious reasons). In fact, I worked for Andersen the summer of its demise in the wake of the Enron paper-shredding tragedy. That was quite laughable because I remember how they kept calling us in for meetings and telling us it would be “okay.” A week or two later, Ernst & Young had taken over, and Andersen was no more.

After ‘investing’ five years of my life obtaining the piece of paper that now stands in a timber frame on my parents’ mantelpiece, I betrayed my culture and jumped ship into marketing at UTS. Thankfully, my parents did not disown me. From there, I worked for Tyco Fire & Security in branding and marketing for almost five years before becoming a freelance designer for a number of agencies and publishing houses.

In 2005, I established my own agency from our small study overlooking the pool with a humble Mac Mini and one start-up client while still freelancing. Since then, the agency has gone from strength to strength and has become a multinational company with over 200 employees in eight different countries. No, not really. But we have upgraded our equipment, and we now have matching studio furniture from IKEA. I’ve also had the honour of working with some great brands as well as talented individuals like Mina, Ben, and Lea.

What are some random things that we should know?
I am married to a minister. An ordained Anglican minister in fact. ie. Rick is an ordained Anglican minister. I remember when I mentioned this one time at a Tyco work social, to the Managing Director no less, and his response was, “As in, a political minister?” When I corrected him, he looked at me as if I was an alien dressed in human clothing. Yes, Rick is an Anglican minister but surprisingly that doesn’t make us weird people. We are actually quite normal. I like to think so anyway. But just to be sure, I’ll ask my Magic Eight ball later and see what it thinks.

Which also means that I am a Christian. What does that mean? Read this.

I am a bit of a technology junkie. I blame my dad – he gave me my own DOS when I was only nine. Yes, pen and paper are great, but even better is an iPhone synced with an iPad synced with a Mac equipped with Things, Evernote, SugarSync, Jumsoft Money, 1Password, Bento, Delicious Library, Scrivener, WriteRoom, and JustNotes.

Clearly, I am a big fan of Apple. And while I usually try not to impose my likes and preferences upon other people, one cannot deny that Apple makes great products. That is an objective fact. Oh, and Macs are better than PCs. Another objective fact. End of story. Nighty night.

I am a neat freak. I like things to be organised. No, wait. I need things to be organised. My friends think I have OCD. But in reality, it’s just a neat (pun intended) way to live and function. I have to admit that Rick did suffer a certain degree of shock after we got married but he has since accepted me for who I am and he loves the fact that our house has order not chaos. He even invited me to his office earlier this year to help him set up all his admin/filing from the ground up. The day he asked me, I was reminded of what a great man I had married.

I recently discovered all things retro. Well, not all things. Primarily house and decor items. Inspired by a stack of Belle magazines at the holiday house we rented last Summer, I went on to decorate our current residence with a somewhat retro look with the help of eBay, Etsy and – would you believe it – even IKEA. The great thing is that because everything is already dated, it can’t actually date. That’s a woman’s logic for you.

Naturally, I support the Stillbirth Foundation of Australia, and would ask that you consider doing so too – or a similar organisation in your country. I’ve had an idea for a fundraising campaign for the SFA for some time now, and hope to turn it into a reality in the coming year. Watch this space.

I like writing. I am by no means a professionally paid writer, but if the definition of a writer is someone who writes (and loves the process of doing so), then I would call myself a writer. Plus, it sounds very cool.

Which is a great segue to the next section…

Why do I want to publish my book about Cameron?
Stillbirth is sadly a taboo topic in our society today. People often don’t want to talk about it because the idea of stillbirth is just so terrible. And it is terrible. Yet it is so common. In Australia alone, about 2000 babies are stillborn every year. As a community, we really need to start being willing and able to talk about stillbirth because there are many mothers out there who have lost children in utero.

We also need to start learning how to respond to another’s grief and pain. Saying nothing is no good but saying something downright insensitive will only cause someone extra pain. When Cameron died, people said all sorts of bizarre things to us – from “Think positive and be strong!” to “It doesn’t matter, you’ll have other children.” I can still remember entire nights when I couldn’t sleep because I was so hurt, and the resentment and bitterness that constantly ate at me was more than I could bear at times – and that was on top of my grief at losing Cameron.

The book is a glimpse into our journey after losing Cameron – it is a glimpse of our pain, our tears, our heartache, our anger, our emptiness, our devastation. It is a glimpse of what a mother suffers when she loses her child.

It is my hope that this book will raise much needed awareness about stillbirth and will help us all to better care for those women around us who have suffered a similar tragedy.

If you are in the publishing industry and would like to review the manuscript (or know someone who might be interested), please contact me (see below). I would love to hear from you!

So what is Pink Ronnie?
Pink Ronnie is basically my head space.

I started blogging early in 2002, on a whimsical suggestion by a friend. In those days, I had a tendency to muse about love, relationships, and what I perceived to be irony in the lives of those around me. I have taken some of those posts down, for the sake of confidentiality (plus, how immature did I sound back then?).

Not the most diligent of bloggers, huge gaps developed in my blog after Rick and I got married (so consumed I must’ve been with marital bliss!), and then after we lost Cameron, my only inclination was to write about Cameron.

Now in 2011, my motto is to muse, write and blog about “my life, my loves and my laughs.”

So prepared to be slightly underwhelmed though (hopefully) nonetheless entertained.

Want to get in touch?

If you have any questions, feedback, ideas or suggestions for Pink Ronnie, you can send an email to hello@pinkronnie or a direct message through Twitter.