Wherein I interview myself

Tell us a bit about your family…

I was born on the little island of Hong Kong. We moved to Sydney when I was four – which was, let’s just say, a very long time ago. My parents were worried China would take over the world and decided Australia would be safer from the evil clutches of communism. Being Chinese drives me mad at times (this is one example), but I wouldn’t have it any other way. My parents both had a heck of a tough childhood living on the poverty line in Hong Kong. My mum, for example, was one of ten children and at one point in time, they were all living in one small attic. One day I will write a book about my parents – for my sake, for their sake, and for my children’s sake. One day.

I am married to a wonderful, gorgeous man. His name is Rick (I sometimes call him Ricky, but he hates that) and we are the best of friends. We like to read books and drink coffee together. He is true blue Aussie and he has a beard that sometimes gets a little bit too long (usually when I forget to point it out to him). He used to ride a motorbike but he sold it about five years ago. And no, I didn’t make him, he gave it up for me. Now that’s true love.

I have been pregnant six times, carried five babies to full-term, delivered five boys, and brought four of them home.

Cameron, our first, died in utero at 41 weeks in September 2007. We grieved madly, we still do, and we always will. We miss the little guy like crazy. Ten days after Cameron died, I started pouring out my grief through words as my way of coping, and I started Life without Cameron as my way of sharing our grief with the world. Since then, I have turned my writings into a manuscript and am currently seeking a way to get it published. More about that later.

Thirteen months after Cameron, we had Angus, and sixteen months later, we also had Pete. Thirteen months after Pete, we welcomed another little boy James into our family. And in April this year, Edward entered our lives.

Despite the hard work, the exhaustion, and the tears, I would not swap motherhood – with all its ups and downs – for anything else in the world.

In addition to losing Cameron, we had a miscarriage between Angus and Pete. We named that little life Thomas – or Tiny Tom as we like to call him.

Since getting married six years ago, we have moved five times which has been all sorts of fun. We now live in a leafy suburb in the northern beaches where there are many lizards. I do not like lizards.

We have no pets, though Rick (desperately) wants a dog. I am yet to be convinced.

What are some random things that we should know?

I am a Christian. What does that mean? Read this.

I am a bit of a technology junkie. I blame my dad – he gave me my own DOS when I was only nine. Yes, pen and paper are great, but even better is an iPhone synced with an iPad synced with a Mac equipped with Things, Evernote, SugarSync, Jumsoft Money, 1Password, Bento, Delicious Library, Scrivener, WriteRoom, and JustNotes.

Clearly, I am a big fan of Apple. And while I usually try not to impose my likes and preferences upon other people, one cannot deny that Apple makes great products. That is an objective fact. Oh, and Macs are better than PCs. Another objective fact. End of story. Nighty night.

I am a neat freak. I like things to be organised. No, wait. I need things to be organised. My friends think I have OCD. But in reality, it’s just a neat (pun intended) way to live and function. I have to admit that Rick did suffer a certain degree of shock after we got married but he has since accepted me for who I am and he loves the fact that our house has order not chaos. He even invited me to his office earlier this year to help him set up all his admin/filing from the ground up. The day he asked me, I was reminded of what a great man I had married.

I recently discovered all things retro. Well, not all things. Primarily house and decor items. Inspired by a stack of Belle magazines at the holiday house we rented last Summer, I went on to decorate our current residence with a somewhat retro look with the help of eBay, Etsy and – would you believe it – even IKEA. The great thing is that because everything is already dated, it can’t actually date. That’s a woman’s logic for you.

Naturally, I support the Stillbirth Foundation of Australia, and would ask that you consider doing so too – or a similar organisation in your country. I’ve had an idea for a fundraising campaign for the SFA for some time now, and hope to turn it into a reality in the coming year. Watch this space.

I like writing. I am by no means a professionally paid writer, but if the definition of a writer is someone who writes (and loves the process of doing so), then I would call myself a writer. Plus, it sounds very cool.

Which is a great segue to the next section…

Why do I want to publish my book about Cameron?

Stillbirth is sadly a taboo topic in our society today. People often don’t want to talk about it because the idea of stillbirth is just so terrible. And it is terrible. Yet it is so common. In Australia alone, about 2000 babies are stillborn every year. As a community, we really need to start being willing and able to talk about stillbirth because there are many mothers out there who have lost children in utero.

We also need to start learning how to respond to another’s grief and pain. Saying nothing is no good but saying something downright insensitive will only cause someone extra pain. When Cameron died, people said all sorts of bizarre things to us – from “Think positive and be strong!” to “It doesn’t matter, you’ll have other children.” I can still remember entire nights when I couldn’t sleep because I was so hurt, and the resentment and bitterness that constantly ate at me was more than I could bear at times – and that was on top of my grief at losing Cameron.

The book is a glimpse into our journey after losing Cameron – it is a glimpse of our pain, our tears, our heartache, our anger, our emptiness, our devastation. It is a glimpse of what a mother suffers when she loses her child.

It is my hope that this book will raise much needed awareness about stillbirth and will help us all to better care for those women around us who have suffered a similar tragedy.

If you are in the publishing industry and would like to review the manuscript (or know someone who might be interested), please contact me. I would love to hear from you!

So tell me about your blog!

I started blogging early in 2002, on a whimsical suggestion by a friend. In those days, I had a tendency to muse about love, relationships, and what I perceived to be irony in the lives of those around me. I have taken some of those posts down, for the sake of confidentiality.

Not the most diligent of bloggers, huge gaps developed in my blog after Rick and I got married (so consumed I must’ve been with marital bliss!), and then after we lost Cameron, my only inclination was to write about Cameron.

In 2011, I began writing and blogging about our family life – my motto was to muse about ‘my life, my loves and my laughs.’

This year, it’s all about how colourful every day life can be, with a topical focus on memory keeping, photography, the home and learning contentment.

Want to get in touch?

If you have any questions, feedback, ideas or suggestions for the blog, you can send an email to hello@pinkronnie or a direct message through Twitter.