My dear, dear friends,
I don’t really know how to best word this, so I’m just going to come right out and say it.
I’ve decided to stop blogging here at Pink Ronnie.
I can’t even begin to describe what a big decision this is for me. After all, Pink Ronnie has been a part of my life, my identity, a part of me, for twelve years now….
Blogging here has kept me sane. Blogging here has kept my creativity fuelled. Blogging here has kept me going. Blogging here has given me precious friendships. Blogging here has made me the person I am today.
It’s been hard grappling with my own decision. I’ve been in denial, and I’ve been in doubt. This went on for quite a number of weeks.
It was only on Monday night when Rick and I stayed up late talking, that it finally clinched for me.
Yes, yes, this is the right thing for me to do…
* * *
It all started a few months ago when I started to sense that something wasn’t quite right.
I would have long lists of blog post ideas typed up and ready to go on the computer, but every time I sat down to actually write, I felt uninspired. Words no longer came forth as easily as they once did. Rick’s mum would come over on Tuesday, I would head off to the cafe to supposedly write a week’s worth of posts, but even after six hours of uninterrupted time with endless cups of coffee, I would come home with one post if I were lucky.
Something was definitely wrong.
As much as I enjoyed writing about business, blogging, clothes, decor, and my obsession with being organised, I was starting to grow resentful that it was depriving me of time to write for myself. To journal for myself. And for our family.
I was also becoming weary of the constant pressure to keep up with other bloggers. Every time someone else came up with an awesome idea for a blog post, I would hear that horrible voice in my head taunting me: “Well, silly, why didn’t you think of that?”
Instead of feeling uplifted by my blogging, it was beginning to drag me down.
I should’ve done something about it right away. But because I had committed myself to blogging daily, it meant that I’d robbed myself of any breathing room to step back and re-assess what I was doing.
It was only when our personal lives erupted with circumstances beyond my control that I gave myself permission to take a proper break.
Without the daily pressure to put up a new blog post, the fog gradually lifted.
One night, very early in the morning, it suddenly became crystal clear.
I knew what I wanted to do. Needed to do.
* * *
I love this space here, I really do.
But the reality (and this is what hit me at 2am in the morning while Rick lay happily sleeping beside me) is this: I’ve outgrown this space.
Whilst I love every inch of this blog, every post that I’ve written, and every image that I’ve shared here, I’m ready to move on.
I’m ready to embark on something new. Something that I want to do with every fibre of my being.
Please don’t get me wrong. It breaks my heart to even say this.
After all, I’ve poured so much heart and soul into this blog.
These last two years, in particular, have been truly special for me: I discovered photography through this blog. I discovered an online community. I discovered where my passion truly lay and which direction I want to take my work into the future. And I discovered you guys.
And oh my heart, you guys have exceeded all my expectations.
* * *
So where to from here?
I can start by telling you what I’ll never stop blogging about: memory keeping. This is my true passion, and I will no doubt wax lyric about it until my dying days.
However, I no longer want to do this in my personal online space.
Instead, I’ll continue to share all my memory keeping posts over at our LIFE:CAPTURED blog, Preserve Your Story. So if you’re interested in keeping up with my posts about design, photography, photo books, story books, memorabilia, journaling, Project Life, self-portraiture, cameras, etc. then please bookmark the URL and make sure you add our blog to your Bloglovin feed. Trish may post from time to time, but mostly, it’ll be me.
I’m excited about this change because, well, why wouldn’t I be? A blog dedicated solely to memory keeping, photography, and the like? That has my name written all over it.
* * *
But there’s more.
And this, my friends, is what makes my heart flutter.
That night, as I lay in bed listening to the sound of Rick’s breathing, my mind drifted back to our two nights away, celebrating our tenth wedding anniversary. Down in the Southern Highlands, we had two whole days to ourselves, and each of us spent that time indulging in the things that we truly loved to do: Rick read (three books) while I journaled and captured our time together through my lens. Both of us came home thoroughly refreshed and energised. Even though I’d written something like 8,000 words, not for a moment did any of it feel like work.
Because, really, when I strip everything back, that’s where my heart lies: documenting the story of us.
It all comes down to this: I want to preserve our story.
Our family’s story. Our children’s story. My parents’ story. Cameron’s story. My story.
I want to tell real stories.
Stories of our everyday life. Stories of our everyday rituals. Stories about little moments, life-changing moments, and all the moments in between. Stories of motherhood. Stories of fatherhood. Stories about raising boys. Stories about innocence, and stories about becoming. Stories about childhood and how quickly it passes us by. Stories of joy and laughter. Stories of heartache of tears. Stories of light and shade. Stories of never-ending love and stories of undying grief. Stories from the past. Stories from the present. Stories of past generations, this generation, and the next generation.
A lot of this I already do here on Pink Ronnie, but I want to start afresh.
It’s time for a blank canvas. A clean slate.
And so, I am creating a brand new space.
It will be simple, and stripped back.
It will be a written memoir, and a visual memoir.
A memoir of days, both past and present.
And if you want to join me on this new journey (and I truly hope you will), then please, go on over and have a peek. It would be so wonderful to have you.
* * *
And so, this is it.
My last post on Pink Ronnie.
It’s almost too surreal.
My eyes are moist with tears as I write, because this is surely the end of a huge chapter of my life.
I don’t know what to say anymore, except this: Thank you.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You have all been so kind, so kind, to me.
I have read every one of your messages, and each time, I have felt immense gratitude.
A million times thank you.
With all my heart, thank you.
“And for us, this is the end of all the stories…
But for them it was only the beginning of the real story.”
The Last Battle, C.S.Lewis